Yes, teenagers may be hormonal and are starting to deal with the pressures from school, their peers, and social media. However, more and more parents these days are sharing just how incredible the teenage years can be with the right approach and giving those of us who are apprehensive a little ray of hope. Connecting with your teen is vital to a healthy and open relationship, and doing so is actually much easier than you may think. Take a look at these tried-and-true tips on how to easily bond with your soon-to-be or already-there teenager.

Open Your Doors. Teenagers usually have one thing at the top of their minds and that’s their friendships. Invite your teens to have their buddies over to your house as often as comfortably possible, letting your house become a warm, fun home-base for after-school hangs, weekend get-togethers, and sleepovers. This way, you can get to know your child’s circle of friends and keep a close watch without being overbearing.

Rituals. Creating traditions and rituals together is a really great way to bond, have fun together, and make special memories as a family. Maybe it’s going to eat at everyone’s favorite local restaurant each week, watching a crowd-pleasing show together (like The Office or Abbott Elementary), starting—and finishing—a series of puzzles, or treating yourselves and the kids to something special once a month for good grades, hard work, good manners and attitudes. Whatever it is, make it fitting for your unique family and stick with it.

Dine Together. There’s no better time to connect than over a meal. Make sitting down and eating together as a family a regular thing in your home, whether it’s breakfast, lunch time, a weekend brunch, or dinner. Here, you can catch up, share stories, and strike up a conversation about current events. If your kids’ ages are spread out, one-on-one meals with just your teens can be really beneficial, allowing them to feel comfortable opening up and having adult conversations with mom or dad.

Sweet Nothings. No matter how “cool” and “grown up” your teen may think they are, they still love and crave affection. Easily connect your with your teen on a daily basis by doing those things that come naturally to you as a parent—saying “I love you” often, making sure to always tell your teens “good night” and “good morning,” surprising them with their favorite after-school snack in the pantry, or making a big breakfast before school are all extremely simple ways to show how much you care, and are appreciated by kids of all ages.

Follow Their Lead. So, your teenage son is into basketball or your teenage daughter has a strong interest in art. Suggest to shoot some hoops one afternoon or sign you and your daughter up for a fun painting session at a local art center. It’s important to support your kid’s interests and get involved when and where you can.

Make A Date. Let’s face it, between our busy schedules and the activities and homework of our teens, finding time to do much of anything else can easily become an after-thought. Make an effort to schedule regular “dates” with your young adults—catch a matinee, go fishing, take them to go see a concert, go for a hike, take them on a practice driving session, or bring your teenage daughter along for a mani-pedi. Spending more time together is a surefire way to keep your bond tight and have fun doing so!

Work Together. No one likes to do chores, but it certainly makes them seem a lot more tolerable when you have some help. Instead of waiting until the mess is out of hand, designate an afternoon once a week where the entire family gets together and helps each other dust and vacuum the house, mow the grass, do the laundry, etc. This way it’s all-hands-on-deck and you can turn on some music and pump out the chores while making it fun.

Get Cooking. Is your teen a foodie like you? Invite him or her to help make dinner, Sunday brunch, or have them choose a weekly recipe that you make together to contribute to the family meal plan. Not only is this a good way to get some extra hands in the kitchen, but it’s also a great time to reconnect and talk about what’s going on in your child’s life. Ask questions and show genuine interest in what’s happening in his or her personal life and at school. Make sure to relate and offer advice in an adult-to-adult way instead of a mom-to-kid way, which will make your teen feel more open to communicating freely.

Just Listen. All-in-all, what teenagers really need are parents who are genuinely interested in what they have to say. These years can be trying for young-adults and the seemingly little things can feel like really big things to them, whether they’re struggling with grades, rejection, bullies, or just feeling overwhelmed. You want to be the person they come to when things get tough, no matter what. Welcome and encourage your child to come to you anytime they just need to talk, ask, or cry it out in a no-judgement-zone.

Keep It Real. While all of these tips may sound great, don’t start planning your brand new “Mommy-and-Me” schedule quite yet. Talk to you teen about spending more time together. Mention some of the suggestions above and start off slow—after all, they are still teenagers.

This article was originally published in June 2016.

The post 10 Easy Ways To Connect With Teens appeared first on MOTHER.

(Want to keep reflecting all year long? Check out these 26+ guided journals for 2026!)

10 Questions for a New Year’s Reflection Exercise:

What 2025 accomplishments am I most proud of?

In which areas did I struggle most in 2025?

Which friends supported me most this year? And which friendships shifted?

Name 3-5 (or more!) positive memory-making experiences from 2025.

Name a few negative memory-making experiences.

In which areas did I see the most personal growth and change?

What am I most grateful for in 2026?

What do I want more of in 2026?

What do I want less of in 2026?

What are my 2026 goals and/or intentions? (Feel free to add a “word of the year”).

The post A New Year Reflection Exercise appeared first on MOTHER.

How to celebrate New Years Eve with kids:

Dress Up. On New Year’s Eve, give your sweats a break and try dusting off a favorite festive dress or jumpsuit instead. Ask the whole family to do the same! If you want to go the traditional NYE route, try something with a little shine, feathers, sequins (we love these affordable sparkly dresses for littles), or mini-tuxedos, suits, and lush velvet options.

Accessorize Head-to-Toe. No need to stop at a NYE outfit upgrade! If you’ve got a little one who loves playing dress-up and “salon,” go to town with your accessories, too. Pull out all of your favorite add-ons (sparkly tiaras, velvet bows, capes, wigs, you name it!), paint your nails, do something fun with your hair, and maybe even try out one of those trendy rhinestone or neon eyeliner tutorials.

DIY Your Party Supplies. Try getting resourceful and creative (and more eco!) when it comes to your NYE party supplies. There are plenty of 2026-themed printables online that you can spruce up with paint and glitter, and we love the idea of using all of your leftover balloons, horns, confetti, sparklers, etc. from past birthday or holiday parties, even if they are in a variety of hodgepodge hues. If you’re really ambitious, check out this DIY Balloon Drop idea, which is sure to be a hit with kids of all ages. (While you’re at it, read up on our tips for throwing a more Earth-friendly party).

Festive Food & Bubbly Drinks. Keep it simple, but festive! Think about ordering in from your favorite local spot, make a favorite appetizer or two, and don’t forget dessert! Chocolate anything will often do. As for beverages, while the adults indulge in bubbly, let your kiddos feel fancy by giving them a flute filled with sparkling apple cider or their favorite flavored fizzy water.

Have A Game Night. Mark the last night of 2024 with a family game night, which could include classic interactive games like charades, Pictionary, Twister, or CatchPhrase, new favorites like the hilarious Pencil Nose, creating your own family-friendly “Minute To Win It” obstacles, or plugging in your karaoke mic and belting out your favorite tunes! You can also create a fun scavenger hunt for the kids to find small treasures around your home.

Reflect & Set Goals. 2025 was a big one in so many ways. Take some time to reflect individually and as a family on how you experienced 2025 (the highs and lows) and the lessons you are taking with you into the year ahead. Be sure to write down the goals, hopes, intentions, or thoughts you have for yourself and your family for 2026. (Here are some prompts to get you started). If you have lost a loved one this year, think about incorporating their memory into your night.

Rally Your Family & Friends. If the pandemic-era has taught us anything, it’s that friends and family are of the utmost importance. If you won’t be able to ring in the New Year with all of your loved ones IRL (nor in the same timezone), you can schedule Zoom calls and FaceTimes to mark the occasion together and share your hopes for 2026.

Countdown Early. If you have little ones whom you need to keep on a schedule, Netflix created a countdown (just type “countdowns” in the search area) for this very reason. You can turn it on right before bed time or any time you gauge the kids are getting tired and ready for bed. Meanwhile, some parents opt to have a “Noon Year’s Party” with the littles, rather than trying to make it a late night.

Kiss At Midnight. Whether it’s an actual smooch or handing your child a Hershey’s Kiss surprise, seal the New Year with this sweet tradition and start 2026 off with lots of love.

For more New Year-themed things to do, check out these great reflection questions for the year ahead and the best guided journals for 2026.

The post How To Celebrate New Years Eve With Kids appeared first on MOTHER.

Decorate an Outdoor Edible Tree for the Animals
As an alternative (or in addition to) a traditional indoor holiday tree, decorating a live outdoor tree with biodegradable, edible ornaments for local birds and other creatures makes for a fun project with kids. We love all these edible ornament ideas from around the web, such as citrus bird feeders, peanut butter pinecones, seed ornaments, and classic popcorn and cranberry garlands. Trim the tree and watch the critters come by and enjoy their treats!

Make Happy Winter Solstice Art + Lanterns
Our favorite winter solstice art project is making lanterns—one of the most popular winter solstice symbols of adding light to the darkest day of the year. There are dozens of DIY-lantern projects out there, and it’s really about finding one that works with what you already have at home. We tend to have an abundance of glass Mason jars, so we use colored tissue paper, cut-out sun, moon, and star shapes, and foraged leaves, and adhere them to the outside of a jar using modpodge or white school glue and paint brushes. Once the final decorations are in place, apply one last thin coat of glue on the outside of the lantern, and let it dry for about an hour. Remember to only decorate the outside of the jar, as once it’s all dry you drop a tea light into it and enjoy the warm glow!

Read Winter Solstice Books
What better time to snuggle up under a blanket and read through a stack of wintery-themed books than the shortest (and likely one of the chilliest) days of the year? The winter solstice book The Shortest Day, written by Newbury Medal–winner Susan Cooper and illustrated by one of our favorite mamas, Carson Ellis, is at the top of our family reading list these days. It moves through times to show how the winter solstice traditions and celebrations have carried on and evolved over centuries—from the earliest pagan traditions. It includes the most beautiful winter solstice images and pictures that you’ll want to pour over again and again.

Recite Winter Solstice Quotes, Poems, or Blessings
The book The Shortest Day utilizes the beautiful 1977 winter solstice poem by Susan Cooper of the same name. Take turns reciting different parts of this beloved winter solstice quote or another winter solstice blessing and spiritual winter solstice quotes found online—including the winter solstice poem Mary Oliver wrote, Snowy Night, and pagan winter solstice quotes—with your children. Our favorite is listed below:

The Shortest Day, by Susan Cooper
And so the Shortest Day came and the year died
And everywhere down the centuries of the snow-white world
Came people singing, dancing,
To drive the dark away.
They lighted candles in the winter trees;
They hung their homes with evergreen;
They burned beseeching fires all night long
To keep the year alive.
And when the new year’s sunshine blazed awake
They shouted, reveling.
Through all the frosty ages you can hear them
Echoing behind us—listen!
All the long echoes, sing the same delight,
This Shortest Day,
As promise wakens in the sleeping land:
They carol, feast, give thanks,
And dearly love their friends,
And hope for peace.
And now so do we, here, now,
This year and every year.
Welcome, Yule!

Incorporate Celtic and Pagan Symbols Of Yule Time
Do some research with your little ones on specific pagan yule time and celtic winter solstice traditions. This might include incorporating a pagan winter solstice symbol—like Candles (Winter Sun), Pine (Healing), Holly (The God), Mistletoe (The Goddess) and the Yule Tree (Renewal)—into your home.

Make A Winter Solstice Food or Craft, Such As Orange Pomanders
This is a simple winter solstice food craft that’s easy to do with kids and one that you will actually want to keep around the house afterwards. Start with firm oranges and a jar of whole cloves. Use a citrus zester to create patterns in the fruit peel and a small toothpick or skinny nail to make holes where you want the cloves to go (the pre-poked holes make it easier for kids to stick in the cloves). Stick the cloves in the fruit and you’re all set. Place a few in a bowl as a fragrant solstice centerpiece, or hang smaller fruit as ornaments on the tree. They also make sweet winter solstice gifts!

Spend The Night By Spiritual Candlelight
Switching off all the electric lights and doing dinner, homework, bath, story time, and more by the light of flickering candles and warm lantern light makes even mundane activities extra special and spiritual, and also makes the long, dark night more real. It also helps everyone appreciate the modern conveniences we take for granted!

Strike Some Winter Solstice Yoga Moves
Welcome the shortest day of the year with a graceful winter solstice yoga sequence. Here is one great 12-step yoga winter solstice practice to get started.

Experience Winter Solstice At Stonehenge (Virtually)
Stonehenge was specifically created to align with the sun on the winter solstice and summer solstice. On the morning of December 21, the 2025 winter solstice sunrise at Stonehenge will be live-streamed via Stonehenge Winter Solstice on YouTube.

Make Some Wassail
This traditional warming drink is perfect for sipping during a  solstice celebration (and it makes the house smell incredible). For this traditional winter solstice drink, simply combine 2 quarts apple cider, 1 1/2 cups orange juice, 3/4 cup pineapple juice, 1 tablespoon brown sugar, 1/2 teaspoon lemon juice, 2 cinnamon sticks, a dash of ground cinnamon, and a dash of ground cloves in a saucepan and bring to a boil. Lower the heat and simmer for 20-30 minutes. Discard the cinnamon sticks, pour into mugs, and serve. And for the grown-ups, a splash of rum or cinnamon whisky doesn’t hurt. Combine with other winter solstice food for an over-the-top spread. (For an easy hack, just heat up some pre-mixed Trader Joe’s Wassail!)

Share Funny Winter Solstice Greetings Or Meme
Search the web for winter solstice jokes, winter solstice greetings, and winter solstice funny memes to share with loved ones. (Here’s one to get them started: Knock, knock! // Who’s there? // Yule log. // Yule log who? // Yule log the door after you let me in, won’t you?)

Reflect, Release, Let Go, and Set Intentions For The New Season
The winter solstice is considered the seasonal dark night of the soul. Spiritually, it’s a time to honor both the light and the darkness that resides within each of us. Take small scraps of paper and write down the things that you would like to let go of. When everyone has finished, throw them in the yule log fire, transforming darkness into light. After “letting go,” set intentions for the new season ahead—speak aloud a thing, idea, habit, or practice that you would like to bring into your life.

Happy Winter Solstice!

For more winter family activity ideas, read all about the Danish concept of Hygge, otherwise known as cozy together time!

The post How To Celebrate The Winter Solstice appeared first on MOTHER.

1. Teach Your Kids What Gratitude Is and Why It Matters.
Gratitude is feeling and expressing thanks for benefits received. It’s been called “the secret of a happy life.” Studies have found that thankful people are healthier, more alert, sleep better, and have more positive relationships. They also have a stronger sense of purpose and are more motivated to contribute to society. A grateful spirit makes us aware of all that others do for us and inspires us to be helpful in return. Frequent expressions of gratitude do a lot to create a loving atmosphere in the home. Sincerely thanking someone is an act of love.

2. Make Thankfulness Part of Your Family Culture.
Culture shapes character. If we want to raise children who are thankful and kind, we need to create an intentional family culture that prioritizes those qualities. A Family Mission Statement is one way to do that. Identify the core values and virtues you want your family to live by and feel accountable to. Sit down together and ask, “What kind of a family do we want to be?” Get your kids’ input so they feel ownership. Below is the mission statement of a family with four children ages 9, 7, 6, and 4; it hung in the kitchen where they could review it at the start of the week and refer to it when needed:
The Davidson Way
• We commit to being kind, honest, and fair. We don’t lie, cheat, steal, or hurt others.
• We don’t whine, complain, or make excuses.
• When we make a mistake, we learn from it and make up for it.
• We work to keep our minds, bodies, and souls healthy, strong, and pure.
• We live with an attitude of gratitude.
If your Family Mission Statement becomes a continuing point of reference, it will create a shared sense of purpose and identity: “This is how we live; this is who we are.”

3. Cultivate the Virtues That Support Thankfulness.
Gratitude depends on two other virtues: a positive attitude (seeing the good) and fortitude (the ability to overcome adversity). We won’t feel thankful unless we have a mindset to recognize the positive things in our lives that we can be thankful for. When my wife and I find ourselves in a negative frame of mind, one of us will say, “Let’s do positives,” and we take turns remembering the positive things that have happened that day (and there are always positives, even on the worst days). We can teach our kids to do the same. Many kids think life should be easy—free of frustration, disappointment, and heartache—and are unhappy when it’s not. The virtue of fortitude, the inner toughness that enables us to endure pain and suffering, begins with accepting a basic truth: Life is difficult. With our help, our kids can learn to be grateful even for life’s difficulties—and the opportunities they give us to grow in wisdom and strength of character.

4. Teach That Your Attitude is Always a Choice.
Consider as a family these two quotes: “Gratitude is an act of the will. We choose to be thankful, just as we choose to love,” by Anne Husted Burleigh. “We have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. Life is 10 percent what happens to me and 90 percent how I react to it,” by Charles Swindoll. Do you agree? What does our own experience teach us? Share stories—how have family members managed to stay positive and even thankful despite setbacks and sufferings?

5. Become a Thankful Person by Practicing Thankfulness.
A virtue is a good habit. Habits develop through practice—lots of it. Find opportunities to practice thankfulness in the flow of family life. Consider having gratitude rituals such as starting dinner with a quick round of “gratefuls” (“What’s something you’re grateful for today?”) or, if you do bedtime prayers or another good night ritual, making thanksgiving part of that. Teach kids to say “thank you” even for small things like passing the salt or holding a door. Make it a family practice to sincerely thank anyone who does you a service, such as those who wait on you in stores and restaurants. Teach your children to thank their teachers at the end of a class or school day—and to look for opportunities to thank other school staff like secretaries and custodians who might not get a lot of appreciation.

6. Write Appreciation Notes.
Expressions of appreciation have even more power when we put them in writing. One family had a Thanksgiving tradition of writing a love letter to each of their five children. Each parent’s letters told the kids what they loved and appreciated about them, the ways they had seen them grow during the past year, the talents and character strengths they saw emerging, all the things they cherished. Consider extending this beyond the family by having each family member, once a month, write an Appreciation Note to someone (a family member, a teacher, a coach, a friend) who has done something they’re thankful for. (Mark on the calendar a day when you’ll all sit down and do this.) Brainstorm the kinds of things you could say that would make a person feel appreciated and give an example of the sort of note you might write. Here’s what one 12-year-old girl wrote to her father: “Dad, you are the person who picks me up and dusts me off after I fall. You give me hope when I have none left. You help me with my math even though I get mad easily. Thank you for everything. I love you.”

7. Count Your Blessings.
We’re often told to “count our blessings” if we want to be happy, but how do you actually do that? As a family, make a list of the things you tend to take for granted. If you do this over dinner, think about every person, at every stage, whose work went into the meal you are eating—the farmers and harvesters, the truck drivers, the grocery store staff, the cook. As a follow-up activity, try this from Hal Urban’s Life’s Greatest Lessons: Write across the top of a page, “I am thankful for…” Under that make 3 columns: “People,” “Things,” and “Other.” Then, in the respective columns, list all the people you are thankful for, all the material things you’re thankful for, and anything else you are thankful for (such as freedom, education, friendship, love, peace, intelligence, abilities, health, talents, particular experiences, beauty, and kindness.) For the next 24 hours, read each of your lists four times: (1) when you wake up, (2) after lunch, (3) after dinner, and (4) before going to sleep. Then discuss as a family: What was valuable about doing this? Teachers who have done this with teens say it noticeably improves their attitude.

8. Keep a Gratitude Journal.
Ask each family member to commit to keeping a Gratitude Journal for a week. At bedtime, write down “three or more things from the day you are thankful for.” Do this with your children (you can make the entries for your pre-writers). Each night at dinner, have everybody share something they wrote in their Gratitude Journal from the previous day. Then, at the end of the week, discuss as a family: “What, was good about doing this? How could we continue the spirit of this, even if we don’t keep a Gratitude Journal every day?” In classrooms where children have kept gratitude journals, parents and teachers have observed an increase in their expressions of appreciation and even an improvement in some students’ grades.

9. Cut the Complaining.
The habit of complaining is the number 1 enemy of a spirit of thankfulness. Complaining almost never makes us feel better, usually makes us feel worse, and often sours the mood in the whole family. We want kids to share the responsibility of helping to create a happy family, and complaining certainly doesn’t do that. How to curb it? As a family, take the No Complaints Challenge: Try to go 24 hours without complaining about anything. When the 24 hours are up, discuss as a family: How did we each do? What made this hard? What did we learn from it? Also consider cutting back your children’s screen time; too much of that creates cranky, irritable brains that are disposed to complaining. Reducing screen time has been found to improve kids’ mood, manners, and overall positive behavior.

10. Give Back.
If we are truly grateful for all that others have done for us, we’ll want to “pay it forward.” In that spirit, many families have participated in the new tradition of “Giving Tuesday” (the one following Thanksgiving) by contributing money or service to a worthy cause. This is a chance to consider, as a family, the wonderful work done by charitable organizations in your community and around the world to alleviate suffering and improve the lives of others. Decide together what you’d like to support on this coming Giving Tuesday and how each family member will contribute. Then, if you don’t already do this, set up a system whereby kids divide their weekly allowance equally among three jars: “Spend,” “Save,” and “Give.”

Expressions of thanks cost nothing but will do much to strengthen relationships and foster harmony and happiness in our homes. There’s nothing more important that you can teach your children than this: If you want to be happy, think about all that is good and beautiful in your life, be thankful for it, and then show your gratitude in word and deed.

For more topics like this, check out our Mother stories on Teaching Empathy To Children, The Power Of Play-Based Parenting, and Creating a Hygge Home.

This article was originally published on November 1, 2017.

The post How to Raise Thankful Kids appeared first on MOTHER.

Read Books About School. An easy way to get the transition conversation started is reading your children books about preschool and kindergarten in the weeks before they begin. Maas suggests The Night Before Preschool (“It really helped them find the humor versus fear in the tears mom or dad may shed on the first day,” she says). Also, Pete The Cat: Rocking In My School Shoes. “The day after reading this book, I let my boys chose new shoes for school,” says Maas. “After getting the shoes home, we made a silly song about how the boys would use their new school shoes.” You can also scoop up books that show your kids’ favorite characters making their way to the classroom. Our picks: Bubble Guppies Time For School, Peppa Pig And The Busy Day At School, Elmo Goes To School, Curious George’s First Day Of School, Daniel Tiger Goes To School, Clifford’s First Day Of School, The Berenstain Bears Go To School, and the like.

Saying Goodbye To Old Friends: For children transitioning from preschool to kindergarten, think about creating a special treat for him or her to give their preschool buddies to say goodbye. This one found on Pinterest is a cute idea. It says “I’m so lucky to have had you in my class,” and inside it is filled with Lucky Charms. On the back, you can write something like “Good luck in kindergarten. Please give me a call if you’d like to play sometime,” along with contact info. Preparing and handing out these parting gifts to their old friends will help your child have a sense of closure. In Maas’ case, the recipient’s parents sent videos of their children saying thank you for the treats and telling her son a little about their first day of school. This also helped him soak in the fact that all of his friends were moving on to a new school, and he wasn’t the only one.

Get Them Excited About School Gear: Let your kid pick out a few new pieces of clothing, a backpack, lunchbox, and bento box to put into his or her lunchbox to get them excited about the perks of heading to school. For any specific supplies intended for the entire class, have a discussion with your child about how they might share and use the supplies when it’s their turn, so they don’t get too attached.

Get Them Excited About School Grub: The night before the big day, take your child to the grocery store to pick out their choice of healthy fruits and veggies, sandwich supplies, drink, and snack. Let them know that they get to gobble down the yummy stuff the next day at school. When you’re packing their first-day lunch, have both parents sneak a note inside. A simple “I Love You” or funny illustration will do the trick.

Let Them Get Comfy With Their New Stuff: If your preschooler will be sleeping on a mat for the first time (PS: we like this version by Olive Kids), try to buy the mat a few weeks early and set it up in the living room for fun snuggle sessions and to get them excited about their new sleepy time area. Same goes for new backpacks and shoes. Try to have your kids try the gear on before the big first day, so they can get comfortable wearing the items.

Visit The School Ahead Of Time: If your kindergarten or preschool allows visits with your child before the school year starts, take them up on it! It’s a great way for kids to get acquainted with the environment and teachers with mom and dad nearby before they are there all alone.

Curb The “School” Talk If Needed: If you notice your child getting anxious or rebellious when you mention the idea of “school,” try to nix the word altogether, and instead refer to the place as its proper name (ex: Children’s Day) and the teachers as their first names (“let’s go visit your new friend Miriam, she’s so nice”). This might help the transition seem like less of a big deal and the new space seem more like a fun play center.

The Drop-Off: Confidence is key. It’s important to say goodbye (don’t sneak out of the room) and actually leave. Don’t ask “Are you okay if mom leaves now?” It will not be ok with them. Instead, walk away confidently even if your child is crying—don’t linger, come back, or keep turning around, as that will make them feel like they do actually have something to be scared of, as they’ll sense a lack of confidence. It’ll also reinforce that crying gets you to come back. Also, keep your promises. If you say you will be back right after recess/snack, be there. Remember that separation anxiety is a natural part of development, how parents respond to it is vital in order for kids to make healthy transitions and develop trust with parents and teachers.

Create A Drop-Off Ritual: Think of a special send-off between you and your child, like a special handshake, a kiss blown in their hand (especially great if you have read The Kissing Hand), a short finger play, or a goodbye from all of you senses (“After school, my ears will hear all the fun things you did, my eyes will see your brave face, my nose will smell your stinky sweat…”). Let your child take a small transitional object to school. Plan something you can give him out of your pocket or off your body to leave with him if he is struggling, such as a soft hair band from mom, a small photo, or a splash of cologne from dad (just remind him it may need to stay in his backpack or cubby if the teacher says so).

Practice Self Care: After you drop your child off, try to let the guilt go and do something for yourself, such as a stroll, a phone call to a friend, or a cry in the car. Your child will stop crying a lot sooner than you think. Have faith in your kid’s inner strength and positive coping techniques.

Expect Regression. Your child might whine, cry, have bathroom accidents, or be extremely clingy while she makes this big transition. She needs more nurture and reassurance, so don’t punish her for using a baby voice at this time, but instead give extra cuddle time. And when she expresses negative feelings, make sure you don’t put words in her mouth. Don’t say, “I know you hate school.” Reflect instead: “I hear you saying you feel scared/sad/mad?..the teacher and I are here to help.” Also, remind your child that she has fought her fear before and felt brave. Say something like, “Remember how afraid you were of swimming? Now you love it!”

Discussing Their School Day: “It’s a pretty universal kid response to say ‘good’ and nothing else when describing their day at school,” says Maas. To encourage your kids to open up and give some more details, grab their favorite dolls and superheroes and play like they’re at school, recreating moments from the day. At dinner, try to get your kids to talk about the best and worst parts of their day, and you can do the same with your work day. “As a therapist, I see the importance of validation. Kids need to know their parents hear them, are connected to them, and can offer support to help them,” says Maas. “It is easy to get in to a trap of trying to minimize any negative emotion or thought our kids have because we just want them to be happy, but by doing that they do not feel understood. It’s very important to show them we care by validating even their sadness, confusion, and frustration. I do this by making sure I am focused (looking at their eyes and putting away all electronics), hearing their words, and repeating them back in a simple way. If they see I heard them and I didn’t get details wrong, then I ask, ‘Is there anything else you want to share about that?’ before I make any comments. Next, I say something along the lines of, ‘What do you think would make you feel better?’ Most of the time they have a much easier and better solution than I could ever imagine. Other times the solution involves something totally unrealistic. If the solution is doable, I ask how I can help. If it isn’t, I acknowledge why flying out of preschool on a rocket might not be the only option!” May the force be with you, mamas!

[Editor’s note: This article was originally published August 17, 2015.]

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Research The Summer Solstice.
There are plenty of resources out there—from YouTube videos to children’s books—that explain the unique movements of our sun and Earth that make the longest day of the year occur. You can start with this YouTube read-aloud of The Longest Day: Celebrating the Summer Solstice (by Wendy Pfeffer) to get a great kid-sized overview of the Earth’s movements and many traditions around the world. Since the star of the day (quite literally) is the sun, you can also read up on facts about the sun, as well as flip through kids’ books that celebrate nature and the wonder of Mother Earth more generally.

Soak Up The Sun.
Depending on if your family is made up of early birds or night owls—think about watching the sun rise together or the sun set together. And/or—in between those hours—devote some time to heading outside and enjoying nature and the official kick-off to the summer season. Pack a picnic, a ball, a deck of cards, and other outdoor activities, and enjoy the simplicity of it all. The Summer Solstice means the sun will rise earlier and set later than any other day of the year, which also makes it a special opportunity to let your kiddos stay up late and not get ready for bed until the last rays of sunshine have disappeared.

Do A Sun-Inspired Art Project.
Put your “Pinterest Mom” hat on and search for the best age-appropriate, sun-inspired crafts that you know your children will enjoy. We especially love these tissue paper sun catchers and using SunPrint Paper to create unique art with objects found in nature. KiwiCo also has a great solar system activity kit that allow your kids to DIY their own system of planets that rotate around the sun.

Eat Sun-Tastic Treats.
Hungry? Make a fun Summer Solstice spread that features fruits and veggies and baked goods in the blazing colors of the sun. Create a sun-shaped cake or cookies. Or, talk to your kiddos about the delicious bounty of summer and choose some of your favorite in-season treats for a special meal at home or outdoors. Whatever tickles your tastebuds.

Dress Like The Sun.
Think orange, red, yellow, and glittering metallic gold. Try out a gold glitter makeup tutorial. Apply sparkling, kid-friendly body glitter and sunny-hued nail polish. Put flowers in your hair. Have fun with it!

Get Creative!
After learning about the many sun-worshipping traditions around the world, brainstorm creative ways your family can ring in the Summer Solstice at home. Perhaps it’s making your own sundial with rocks, hosting a beach bonfire, or decorating and dancing around a Maypole. Research your family’s roots and ruminate on what your ancestors might have done to mark the Solstice and go from there. The sky—and sun!—is the limit.

Photo by Eloisa Ramos

How would one celebrate the shortest day of the year? Check out our guide to how to celebrate the Winter Solstice for kid-friendly ideas!

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When it comes to raising creative kids (a goal of many parents), many child psychologists agree that the home environment is critical to the development of creativity. What we do as parents establishes a necessary foundation for a creative lifestyle. Below are 6 simple practices you can easily incorporate into family activities—practices that can positively impact your children’s creative spirit. (Check out more tips here!)

In the same vein, invite your children to invent their own toys. What could they create with a several blocks of wood, a bucket of sand, a small shovel, and a hose? When kids have opportunities to create their own playthings, their creative spirit is both
enhanced and celebrated. In short, don’t always buy toys, invite children to create toys.

Equally important: resist the current movement to reduce or eliminate recess in your child’s elementary school. The consequences of a school day with no recess will have lasting effects on their creativity for years to come. As has been proven in study after study, a day without play can have serious repercussions for children’s evolving sense of creativity both now and well into the future.

In short, take your child to an art gallery, a musical concert, a woodworking exhibit, or a tap dance recital to see what creative people do or create. Provide opportunities for your children to talk with creative people: carpenters, landscape architects, commercial artists, professional authors, glass blowers, guitar players, weavers, craftspeople, or even the next-door neighbor who knits caps for newborns at the local hospital. Offering your child numerous opportunities to view and discuss creative endeavors is a powerful stimulant for their own creative development.

Anthony D. Fredericks, Ed.D. is the author of From Fizzle to Sizzle: The Hidden Forces Crushing Your Creativity and How You Can Overcome Them from which this article is excerpted.

This article was originally published on July 27, 2022

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As an Obstetrician-Gynecologist who has worked mostly in urban, Black female-dominated practices, there are certain hurdles that I have personally walked patients over. I am sharing some of those here. While they may seem scary, being empowered with information is the best prevention, so I urge you to take heed and also share with the Black women in your lives.

Preconception:
Find The Right Healthcare Provider.
One of the best things you can do before you get pregnant, besides prenatal vitamins, is making sure you select a healthcare provider team you trust. It does not have to be one person, but different providers with different expertise. You want to have conversations with them telling them your goals and desires for childbearing. With all of the talk about Black maternal mortality, I always encourage Black women to at least have one Black provider on their team. Black doctors have been proven to improve outcomes for Black patients, but if you cannot find one of those, it is also great to have a Black doula or midwife, which can be found through a simple Google search. Doulas are great because they also transition you into motherhood beyond the delivery room and into the postpartum period. Doulas can help you find popular midwives or physicians and can help you navigate birth centers vs. hospital vs. home births. Should you choose to deliver in the hospital, it is okay to ask directly about what the providers know about U.S. health care disparities and what their organization is doing to combat this. If we do not demand more from our providers, no one will grow.

Conception:
The World Health Organization deems fertility every woman’s right. This means that no matter who you are or how many children you have or how old you are, you have a right to try. Never let anyone discourage you about bringing life into this world. Black women typically do have higher rates of infertility in the United States and are more likely to have damaged fallopian tubes causing their infertility. This means that if you try to get pregnant consistently for 12 months and do not succeed, you should seek help. If you are over the age of 35 and try to conceive consistently for 6 months and do not succeed, you should seek help. Black women typically take longer to seek infertility treatment, so hopefully this empowers you to know when is the right time to get the help you need.

Pregnancy:
There are so many phases of pregnancy, so I will discuss some key things that affect different trimesters.
First Trimester: Ectopic Pregnancy.
The same damaged fallopian tubes that I discussed in the conception portion can also cause a complication called ectopic pregnancy, which is also more common among Black women. This is when fertilization of the egg occurs in the fallopian tube, which is normal, but does not make it back to the uterus to develop. A tubal pregnancy can be dangerous and life threatening. That is why it is important to have early prenatal care. As soon as you miss a period and have a positive pregnancy test, you should schedule a visit with a provider so that you can confirm that the pregnancy is in the right place. If you have severe pain and you have not had an ultrasound, that is a reason to go to the doctor or emergency room, because tubal pregnancies can rupture and cause internal bleeding. The good news is that if you seek help early, you can take medications to fix the pregnancy and prevent surgery. (Editor’s Note: For a first-hand account of an ectopic pregnancy, read our profile on Kai Avent-deLeon). 

Second Trimester: Preeclampsia.
After 20 weeks of pregnancy, women can develop elevated blood pressures and abnormalities in labs and symptoms like headache or vision changes that point to a diagnosis called preeclampsia. This is a very common diagnosis among Black women. Sometimes when preeclampsia happens before 24 weeks, it may require termination of the pregnancy to save the mom. Many moms deliver early, before 37 weeks, because of this diagnosis and it is a leading cause of preterm birth among Black women. For this reason, I encourage most Black women to discuss with their providers if a baby Aspirin, which can prevent preterm preeclampsia, should be prescribed for them. Often times, other risk factors like obesity, a history of preeclampsia in a prior pregnancy, and diabetes could be reasons to take baby Aspirin as they are associated with an increased risk of preeclampsia.

Third Trimester: Delivery.
This is when all of the work that was advised in the preconception portion comes together. If you have a good team around you, although things can go unexpectedly, you will still have a great experience. The decisions and choices you make in preconception and first trimester set you up for a safe delivery. Be sure to determine early on who you want in your delivery room beyond your birth worker team. That will help you exercise boundaries that are necessary for motherhood.

Postpartum:
Mental Health & Support.
Support is the key to your mental health. Just like I advised you to decide who will be in your delivery room, you need to decide who will support you postpartum. Ask for help. Lactation specialist extraordinaire Jabina Coleman coined the phrase, “Everybody wants to hold the baby, but who will hold the mother?” That is the mindset you should use to build your support team. The people who will help you sleep and mind the baby when you need to run errands are the really supportive friends. It is not just about taking selfies with a newborn; it is about supporting your needs and concerns. A doula can also help with supporting you, along with a lactation specialist. The more people you can strategically surround yourself with, the better your mental health will be. If you feel like you cannot concentrate or sleep even when the baby is asleep, you may need medical attention to rule out postpartum depression. Lastly, exercise! You can always walk with your baby; it helps them sleep.

Find Community With Other Black Mothers.
Some hospitals are offering centering groups for pregnant patients and some even offer Black centering groups. This is an excellent way to do prenatal care, that has been proven to have great outcomes for moms. It is also a way to have a tribe of moms after you deliver. Also be sure to look at online forums for Black mothers to look for ideas about motherhood essentials—you may also find your community online.

If You’re Pregnant or Not:
Advocate For Yourself!
Whether you are pregnant or not, the most important thing that any Black woman can do for herself is advocate for herself when interacting with the healthcare system. The best tips I have are below:

1. Stay ready, so you don’t have to get ready.
Come to every visit prepared. Have notes written on paper or on your phone.
Providers pay better attention when they know you are serious about your care.

2. Call for backup.
If you are feeling sick, bring someone with you who can advocate for you if you are too weak.
I always think Black women should show someone cares about them, so that they are not easily dismissed.
If you know someone in the healthcare field who can talk to the team, use them.

3. Switch!
If you do not like how a provider is treating you, switch to someone else. This is your body and your health. Don’t settle!
Only do this if it is safe to do so. If you are in the hospital, it may be difficult to switch to another hospital and unsafe. You can always ask for another provider or nurse.

Happy Black Maternal Health Week! I hope this motivates you to live your best life whether you are a current or future mother or not. Share this knowledge with your friends and family. That is how we will keep each other safe!

Dr. Joy Cooper (right) with her Daughters of the Diaspora co-founder.

For more on Dr. Joy Cooper, be sure to follow her on Instagram, and check out her two inspiring companies that give vital support to Black women and girls—Culture Care and Daughters of the Diaspora. 

For more on the topic of maternal health, check out Latham Thomas’ essay on The Birth Of My Son + The Birth Of A Doula, our Q&A with Christy Turlington of Every Mother Counts, a preview the EMC film Giving Birth In America, and a guide to Preparing For Postpartum Depression.

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